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Unveiling the Hidden Emotions Behind Parental Anger: A Journey Towards Better Parenting

  • November, 13, 2022

In this insightful blog post, explore the often-concealed emotions that accompany parental anger and learn how to address them effectively. By uncovering the root cause of your anger, you can foster stronger connections with your children and create a more nurturing environment. This transformative approach to parenting is inspired by Gönan Premfors, creator of the Parentology philosophy, coaching pioneer, and founder of CTI in Dubai. Delve into her wisdom and experience, and take your parenting journey to the next level.

Have you ever paused to reflect on a moment when you were genuinely angry? Delving into the events and emotions that contributed to your reaction can be quite revealing. Anger is a powerful emotion that often overshadows others, but it rarely travels alone. It's usually accompanied by fear, embarrassment, pain, guilt, pride, or disappointment, among other emotions. Identifying the emotions inciting your anger can lead to better self-awareness and improved relationships.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert, once said, "When we acknowledge and validate the underlying feelings that accompany anger, we can communicate more effectively and honestly with ourselves and others."

Before reacting in anger, ask yourself, "What emotions are hiding behind my anger?" Doing so can help you address your feelings more productively and gain insight into yourself and your relationships. This self-awareness will enable you to act with maturity and empathy.

Consider this example: a parent and child are walking on the sidewalk when the child starts to cross the street without checking for oncoming traffic. The parent quickly pulls the child back to safety and then angrily scolds them for being careless. In this case, it's crucial for the child to learn about safety, but the parent's anger likely stems from fear for their child's well-being.

Dr. Daniel Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry and co-author of "The Whole-Brain Child," highlights the importance of understanding one's own emotional state: "When parents recognize that their anger is fueled by other emotions, they can address the root cause and communicate more effectively with their children."

By examining their thoughts before expressing anger, the parent may realize that their fear is driven by the love they have for their child. This understanding will lead to a more compassionate conversation about safety, love, and the importance of being careful when crossing the street.

The next time you feel anger welling up, take a moment to identify its "partners in crime." This self-awareness exercise can help you better manage your emotions and foster genuine connections in all your relationships.

Gönan Premfors (CPCC. PCC)


Gönan Premfors is the founder of The Coaches Training Institute in Dubai. She brought professional coaching to the Middle East in 2005 when she established what is still the leading coach-training school in the region.

CTI is the oldest and largest coach-training organization in the world and has been highly influential in the creation of the global coaching industry. The Dubai Training Facility opened in 2005 in Dubai Knowledge Park.

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